I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
