once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
