my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
