Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
