everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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