Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
