I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
