So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
