we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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