I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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