I want to stick my p in your. b.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
