How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
