i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
