You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
