i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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