just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
