and i looked up. we had an audience...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
