Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
