Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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