pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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