Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
