i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
