It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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