Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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