I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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