hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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