What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
