just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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