Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
