I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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