he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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