Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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