Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
