That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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