Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
