Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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