I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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