halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
