I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize