Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
