When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
