I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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