the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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