Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
