I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
