I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
