i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
