i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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