i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
