Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
