just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
