I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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